What does a woodcutter say before he chops down a tree in the rainforest? “Let the chimps fall where they may.” 52. What do you tell a naughty monkey? “Stop chimping about.” 51. What do monkeys do for laughs? They tell jokes about people. What do you call a man who can jump from tree to tree? A monkey’s uncle. What’s a monkey’s favorite game? Hangman. Humans can catch diseases from monkeys and bats, but why not anteaters? Because they are filled with anty bodies. What did the monkey say after his tail got caught in the lawnmower? “Won’t be long now!” 46. In March, I found a monkey paw and used it to wish to work from home every day. What do you call a monkey in a minefield? A baboooom! 43. Did you know before they had monkey bars, monkeys would just drink at home. What do you call a monkey who works in a call center? A who-rang-utang! 41. What’s white and swings through the trees? A meranguetan! 40. What do you feed a 600-pound orangutan? Anything it wants! 39. What is an orangutan’s favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp! 38. What did the orangutan say to the chimp? “Ginger’s the new black!” 37. Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey? Because they believed in gibbon take. What did the banana say to the monkey? Nothing, bananas don’t talk. Why did the giant ape climb up the side of the skyscraper? Because the elevator was broken. Why did the chimpanzee cross the road? Because he had to take care of some monkey business. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed monkey on a tricycle and a well-dressed monkey on a bicycle? Attire. If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do? Pay him. Where does a 2,000-pound gorilla sit? Anywhere it wants to. What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips? A chipmunk. If a monkey has 30 bananas in one hand and 40 bananas in the other hand, what does he have? Huge hands. Where do monkeys go when they lose their tails? To a retailer. What did the banana do when he saw the monkey? The banana split. What do you call a monkey at the North Pole? Lost. How do you catch a monkey? Climb a tree and act like a banana. How do monkeys get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster. What do you call a monkey that wins the World Series? A chimpion. Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle? There are too many cheetahs around. What does a banana do when it sees a monkey? The banana splits. What kind of key opens a banana? A mon-key! 19. Where do chimps hear all their gossip? The ape vine. What kind of monkey likes seafood? A shrimpanzee. Where does a baby monkey sleep? In an apricot. What do you call monkeys who share an Amazon account? Prime mates. What came first, the monkey or the ape? The dinosaur! 14. Where do monkeys go to grab a beer? The monkey bars! 13. Why don’t monkeys wear pocket watches? Because they don’t wear pants. What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear? Anything you want, he can’t hear you. One turns to the other and says, “Oooo ooo aah aahh!” The second monkey says, “Well, put some cold in then!” 10. What does a monkey wear while cooking? An ape-ron. What do you call a flying monkey? A hot air baboon. What do you call a monkey who can’t keep a secret? A blab-boon.
What kind of underwear do monkeys wear? Chimpantsies. Why shouldn’t you fight with a monkey? They use gorilla warfare. Why do monkeys love bananas? Because they have appeal. Did you hear about that lame party in the jungle? Someone forgot to bring the chimps and dip.
Looking for more animal jokes for kids? We got you covered with a whole veritable zoo of jokes about snakes, alligators, cows, pigs, owls, giraffes, fish, farms, dogs, sloths, and so many more!Ī chimp off the old block. We even threw in some hilarious banana jokes, chimpanzee jokes, orangutan puns, and gorilla lines in there for good measure. But above all, they’re also pretty funny.Įncourage your child’s new interest and obsession with primates by sharing some funnies in the form of truly funny puns and jokes! Luckily for you, we’ve gone ahead and rounded up the cutest monkey jokes, puns, and one-liners. They have been pivotal to the unfolding of science and discovery for decades. Monkeys are the closest thing to humans we have on Earth, and they’re at the base of so much research about evolution and animal communication. Got a kid into going through a monkey phase? Are they begging you to make monkey sounds with them and pretending to pick out lice from your hair? OK, it’s kind of cute, admit it.